Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I'm a slacker

Ok so I realize it has been a long time since I posted a new blog here, a plan that I assure you will be remedied by....I'm gonna be bold and say tomorrow. I just haven't been around very often because my facebook gets a lot more attention from the internet than this does. So check out my facebook! (See the link to the side) On facebook I post the same blogs I do here as well as the added bonus of Saucy Sasha's Sext fact of the day! So basically I guess it you want me to pay more attention to you bloggies send me more feedback! Untill next time, enjoy your sauce where ever you can get it! Muah!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!.........aw........damn

Just got this letter from a Sauce Lover and I thought it would be important to address considering it's about one of the number one concerns for men in the bedroom. For women it can be flattering or frustrating, but it can be fixed! Let's here it for premature ejaculation!

Hi Sasha, love this group!

I have a question about premature ejaculation. My boyfriend suffers from this (he is not happy with how long he lasts, it isn't so much an issue for me) and this has always been a problem with him. He isn't even enjoying sex anymore because he is so worried about cumming too soon.

I was wondering if you had any advice/techniques we could try? We use condoms (to decrease sensation, and of course for safety :P), he masturbates beforehand often, and even would rather drink before we have sex because he says it makes him last longer.

Anything else?

Thanks

Dear Sauce Lover,

Premature ejaculation is on the the top concerns of men when it comes to bedroom activities and I have heard of some of pretty interesting things guys have done to keep themselves in check. I even knew one guy who hung a picture of a penguin upside down over his bed so if he ever got too excited, he could look at it and think, "Why the hell is the penguin upside down?" Some men count, some think of baseball or Bea Arthur, or even dead puppies (ew). However, some times those strange mental images just aren't enough (it's cause I'm just too hot, I know, it's a curse) and we need to seek alternative solutions. It sounds like you are already pretty well informed and what you are trying now are some good ideas, but if he is still not satisfied with his performance I have some other suggestions for you.

One thing he might want to look into purchasing a desensitizing lube. I would recommend Durex Play Longer Desensitizing Lubricant for Men. The thing about these lubes is that they contain a mild anesthetic (usually 7.5 percent benzocaine) that causes a temporary numbing sensation after being applied to the skin. The purpose of this desensitization is to help men to keep their erections and to postpone or prevent premature ejaculation. However, since the penis has less sensation, sexual pleasure for some men could be reduced and if too much is used they could just go entirely numb. Plus, if a condom is not worn when using these products, the gel or cream can rub off onto your naughty bits diminishing sensation and pleasure for you. Which nobody wants! Another option which can prove less messy it the desensitizing condom. Look for Trojan Extended Pleasure brand condoms that just won an consumer award for best desensitizing condom. They have the standard amount of anesthetic already inside the condom so their is no fear of using too much. But just like a unique and beautiful snowflake, every penis if different. So some men may require more or less desensitization than the condom can offer.

If you are looking for a more natural way to get his ejaculation under control, he needs to change his masturbation habits. Most people when they masturbate are of the mind frame to get in, get off, and get out. This speedy practice in men is often the main cause of premature ejaculation. When he is flying solo, ask him to try to take it slow. He can help himself do this by switching hands or positions. If he normally stands up in the shower to rub one out, have him try laying down on his back or stomach, or have him sit down in comfy chair. (Also when you are having sex try NOT to do it in the same position that he typically masturbates, this will better distinguish sex with you as a different experience.)

He needs to switch things up like this because of muscle memory. The muscles in the human body have a memory of their own, so when they experience certain actions or sensations, they will take over to produce the typical result (in this case a quick spurt). In order to change his ejaculation patterns he will actually have to change the muscle memory in his penis. Sounds painful, but I promise it's not, it can be fun! :) He needs to re-teach his naughty muscles that sexual stimulation needs to be prolonged in order to reach his climax. In order to re-program he is going to need to work at it. Remember, practice makes perfect! So he should frequently try to extend the length of his masturbation sessions by bringing himself to the point of almost cumming and having him slow down, or stop entirely. The longer he will be able to go by himself, the longer he will be able to go with you.

If you want you could make it a fun practicing by teasing him yourself either manually or orally, but always making sure to stop and take breaks to let him cool down and extend the experience. Another technique that I have used to rein in an overly excited partner may be a little far out for some, but it is very effective. S&M can do wonders in the bedroom not just as fun play but a tool to help keep you man in control. When pleasuring a man I often will bring him right to the point of release and then firmly, but lightly, slap the inside of his thigh or the meaty part of his bum. It sort of wakes them up and doesn't let them get off that easy (I <3 double entendres). You can also do the same thing with ice cubes, or hot wax. Just bringing a new and distracting sensation to the table can mix things up in his brain to confuse and excite (but not too much) his little man (or big man if the case may be). In some cases however if the guy you are with is really into S&M, this can backfire and cause him to erupt like a volcano, but if your new to the experiences it can be very exciting, but grounding. Now if this is something you would like to try, talk to your man about it first. He might freak out if you just spring it on him. Not everyone is cut of for these more rough and tumble activities.

I hope I was able to help you guys out and you will try some of my suggestions. If you like please do keep me updated to let me know what worked for you and what didn't or if you find some new tantalizing trick this I may not have even heard of. Sex is about fun, play and experimentation. So never stop trying to things! And remember to always keep it safe and saucy!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The G-Spot: Myth or Magnificent?

Hello Sauce Lovers! I am so excited because I received my first email with a question from one of you, my glorious minion! And it is about that tried and true sex mystery....the G-Spot! Here is what my Sauce Lover wants to know....

Hi,Sasha! My question is banal ....but still can't get a clear answer.Whats exact location of G-spot?....was trying to find that information in literature,but whether the explanation is too complicated or there's just a little bit about location and more about someones feelings of it.Looks like no one knows where it is,but exactly knows what it does to a girl. I can't ask my friends neither,coz some of them enjoying just "jumping on a dick" and as a consequence not really interested about the spot,another part is still seeking.......I thought maybe you could help me....as i understood you majored in sexology...maybe u might know...

Dear Sauce Lover,

In no way is your question banal. The G-Spot is one of the great modern mysteries of female sexuality! Here is a little info on the G-Spot that I have come across in my sexplorations.

Now there is still some debate about whether or not the G-Spot exists. These arguments mostly come from male scientists who probably couldn't find their own dick. In my experience the G-Spot is very real, just a little bit fickle. The thing about the G-Spot is this: Just like every unique and beautiful snowflake, every vagina is different. Therefore every G-Spot is different. For some women it is very sensitive and can even get them to squirt like a fountain! (Wait for my future blog on female ejaculation.) For other women, it gives off no extra stimulation at all. No one really knows why this is, it could be genetic or just random. Either way, think of your G-Spot like your own unique, sexy fingerprint.

Now the location of the G-Spot can vary in women, but it is usually in the same general region. In order to find the G-Spot take your longest finger, (or use someone else finger! ) and let it inside about two knuckles deep. You can now feel the G-Spot on the top of your vaginal canal. It should feel spongy and slightly different than the rest of your love tunnel. If your not sure that you found it, feel around a bit and explore! Yours could be in a lower or higher location. When you do locate your spot, don't expect when you touch it for it to feel like fireworks.The G-Spot doesn't have nearly as many nerves as the clitoris and doesn't respond to touch the same way. Remember the clit has about 8000 nerve endings and you can't really beat that. The G-Spot responds best to pressure and friction, rather than simple touch.

Now my G-Spot has never been very sensitive but I have been able to get it going on occasion, mostly with manual stimulation, G-Spot specific sex toys, or guys who just happened to be curved in a favorable way. (You know who you are) ;) Even though G-Spot stimulation can be very pleasurable and intense, I have always needed a bit of rub on the clit as well, to reach orgasm. Most woman can only reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation so don't be afraid to make your partner pay appropriate attention to the magic button. ( I may call it that but please people, please don't ever press it like a button!) Clitoral stimulation combined with G-Spot stimulation has added up to the most intense orgasms of my life. So I encourage all you ladies to explore your nether regions for the added boost G-Spot stimulation can give you.

If you are concerned about the lack of sensitivity in your G-Spot, they have procedures now involving collagen injections that are supposed to plump it up and increase sensitivity. Some women claim they are magical, others claim they do nothing at all, but either way they aren't cheap at about 2 grand per injection. My recommendation is to get a good toy. For G-Spot stimulation I recommend something firm, like a glass dildo. Something like this has been really good times for me!


http://www.justaddflesh.com/pgs/products/Sire-Pyrex-Glass-Dildo.html

Now I know it is a bit scary looking but don't be intimidated! If vibrators are more your style try something like this.



http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/rock-chick

Vibration never really helped out my G-Spot, but for some it might, you never know till you try! Just find something that looks appealing to you and experiment! Remember, sex is supposed to be fun!

Thanks for your question reader! I hope I was able to help shed a little light on the G-Spot. I also hope that you have inspired some of the other Sauce Lovers out there to send me their questions! You can post your questions here on the site or send them to me at my email.

gettinsaucywithsasha@gmail.com (wouldn't it be awesome if it was @gspot.com?) ;P

Until next time, keep it safe and keep it saucy!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Sex Addict: Tortured Soul or Just Slutty?

If you haven't been living under a rock lately you may have noticed that international golf pro and billionaire Tiger Woods is being treated for sexual addiction, as if he doesn't have enough problems already! (note the sarcasm) It seems like these days anytime a famous man wants to get away with infidelity he claims sexual addiction. Perhaps this is a way to spin the media, as to not tarnish their image too much, or maybe it will make his wife blame him less, or maybe he actually does have a problem...but last time I checked Satyriasis (that's the fancy term for male sex addict) was a relatively rare condition. So why is it now popping up all over the place? Is the growing number of "sex addicts" in this country due to our hyper-sexualized society? Is it a chemical imbalance caused by too many hormones in the meat? Or are people using it as an excuse just to be really slutty?

Now I personally believe that we are all addicts at heart. Some addictions are more harmful than others (drugs and alcohol) and some are more socially acceptable (shopping or exercising). What ever it is, we all have at least one thing in our lives we just can't get enough of. Something we would have a very hard time living with out. I myself,come from a long line of addicts. I am Irish and Russian after all (Have you met my two good friends Whiskey and Vodka?). So I know what it's like to try and keep those vices in check. And while there have been times where I have over indulged (cough*cough*college*cough);I have never had to go to rehab, never woke up next to a stranger and I've never been arrested. I have always keep my addictions under control, I have always been able to stop. Haven't I?

I have always been a very sexual person. I like to engage in frequent sexual activity in a variety of styles and places. It's fun, relieves stress and is great exercise! Sure a few people have called me a slut or a nympho, but I always shrugged it off, blaming their sexual repressed narrow minds or jealous fervor. But when I really thought about my life's sexual history, I realized that I haven't gone a prolonged period of time without sexual activity since I was a adolescent teen girl discovering masturbation.

The longest I have gone with out actual sex, since I lost my virginity at 16, was the 5 months. Even then I had a plethora of pornographic materials, toys and even some skype sex (that would be naughty web camera fun with my boyfriend for those who don't know). Even with all those other methods of sexual gratification it was the most frustrating 5 months of my life. To quote Elvis "I was itchin like a man on a fuzzy tree." Is all this evidence enough to make me a 'gasp' sex addict?

My curiosity lead me to one of the only places you can get your vice and your virtue in the same place, and with only a few clicks of a mouse...THE INTERNET! With the growing number of people claiming sex addiction, there were dozens of sights for sex addicts. Some claiming they're liars, some offering them help and even some cheering them on. I finally settled on www.sexhelp.com. They offered an online 45 question test to determine whether or not you are in fact, a sex addict.

Some of the questions I felt were valid, like number 13. "Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?" Some question I though were ridiculous, like number 39."Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior?" (Hello! Liking S&M does not make anyone a sex addict!) And some questions I just thought were funny, like number 44. "Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?" (LOL, There was that one time at Volcano National Park....) After I completed my quiz I anxiously clicked ahead for my results and low and behold, on a scale from 0-20 I ranked a 13! According to sexhelp.com, I "HAVE MET a score on basis of the six criteria that indicate sex addiction is present." Then they showed me a handy little graph!



Looks like thirteen is right at the top of normal non-addict sexuality or almost at the top of the sex addict peek. I'm not sure which, depends on those unknown confusing side numbers...Contrary to sexhelp.com and some other popular beliefs, I am not a sex addict. Sex doesn't make me unhappy or interfere with my work or personal life. I might like it a lot but sex is not in control of me. Even though I am not a sex addict,I can imagine how it must feel to derive no satisfaction from sexual activity.

For one month in the summer of 2006, I lost my orgasm. I don't know where it went or why, but nothing I did with myself or anyone else was giving me that sweet release. The longer I went not being able to get to The Big O, the more often and harder I tried. I was starting to get pretty sore when I ended my streak and was finally able to climax 25,000 feet up, flying solo in an airplane bathroom. If the agony I felt during those long 4 weeks is how sex addicts feel their whole lives, I don't know how they keep from jumping off a bridge.

Sexual Addiction is a real disorder that can have devastating consequences on a persons physical and emotional health. People who truly have a sexual addiction, engage in compulsory sexual behavior (regardless of risk), but experience no joy or relief from it. In fact they often feel the exacted opposite. After they engage in their sexual behavior of choice (be it masturbation, sex, or even just looking at porn) they often feel empty, depressed or ashamed. They deserve all the help they can get, but they still need to take responsibility for themselves and what they do. If you believe you might be addicted to sex and it is ruining you're life, I urge you to speak with a counselor or psychologist about your problems.

So here we come back to Tiger. Oh Tiger, why did it take your mistresses coming forward for you to get help if it was what you needed? Why did you get married if you felt your need for sex with multiple partners on multiple occasions was so strong? Could it be that maybe this wasn't a problem in your life till you got famous and rich? Maybe then this isn't a problem of sexual addiction and maybe more the case of a nerdy kid finally getting the money and fame enough to be as slutty as he always wanted to be.

I guess my point is that people shouldn't use sex addiction as an excuse, it's a real disorder that causes the people who really have it, real problems. Come on Tiger! Man up and tell the truth! "Now I am rich and can sleep with a lot of hot bitches, so I do!" There is nothing wrong with being slutty Tiger, accept and love yourself for you are! I wanna hear you say it! I am a proud slutty golfer man! If Nike and your other sponsors don't like it, screw em. You're a billionaire! You have enough money to be able to bang gorgeous gold diggers for several human lifetimes. Mozeltov baby and enjoy your sauce!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

2010: A Sex Odessy

As we enter the beginning of this new decade, we are faced with new questions and concerns about where the future of the earth is headed....according to Douglas Hines, a former employee of Bell Labs, the future we are headed for is full of sex robots, or sex-bots, as I like to call them. At the 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, Mr. Hines introduced the world to Roxxxy, a life size, interactive, silicon sex doll with artificial intelligence. Roxxxy has touch sensors through out her body and responds verbally to the physical stimuli. She has three receptive oraphises (guess where) with motors to increase sexual sensation, volume control (wouldn't my boyfriend love that), and 24/7 tech support!

When you order your True Companion (www.truecompanion.com), she is fully customized to satisfy your sexual desires from hair color, to breast size, to personality. (Because according to Mr. Hines it's about more than sex, it's about companionship. Hmmmmm....) In addition to the custom personality you get when you order a True Companion you also get 5 additional personalities including Frigid Farah, Wild Wendy, Mature Martha and S&M Susan, complete with her own safe word....marshmallow. She can even snore if you want her to (for those of us who don't like to sleep alone I assume). But I have to say the clincher for me was the fact that every Roxxxy dolls is programed to have multiple orgasms during every sexual encounter.....um, hello!Can someone install me with that software!!!

Now I'm sure to all those anti-social nerds out there this seems like a dream come true, and I must admit I perked up a little bit when I heard that there is also a male version of the sex-bot aptly named Rocky. But what does this mean for our society? Are we doomed to become even more isolated from each other because we can replace our domestic partners with robots? Or will this solve the problems of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases? If something is programmed to please you, to love you...will it mean as much? There is also the question of legality...at one point in one of the videos I have posted below, Mr. Hines discusses True Companion group sex or swapping as a feature they will have on their website.

He calls it wife swapping.

Are people going to want to marry their sex-bots? I know some people will, but will we let them? I would like to be the first to say I am totally for people screwing and marrying robots! But I want the gays to be able to get married first!

Then there always the question of an eventual robot uprising. If Hollywood has taught me anything it is that robots will eventually revolt and try to kill off humankind. I suppose it would be a more pleasant demise if the robots were all smoking hot.....

Although this is the first true sex-bot to be launched into the global market place, this isn't the first time man has tried eliminate the trials and tribulations of sex and relationships with another human. Several years ago I came across the Realdoll (www.realdoll.com), a life size, anatomically correct, fully customizable sex doll. A Realdoll was even featured as a main character in the independent film Lars and The Real girl staring Ryan Gosling. Is this search for the perfect sexual experience just an extension of sex toys like the vibrator? Or is it much deeper? I don't want to get to psychological on your ass, but is this need to create our True Companion a symptom of a much larger problem?Perhaps something having to do with denial and a growing detachment from reality....and each other?

Hmmm....maybe. But I still want to try one! Anyone got an extra seven to nine grand, so I can get my hands on a Rocky?

I only have one question for you Mr.Hines.....can I cover it with sauce?

Here are some video's about Roxxxy the Sex-Bot. The first is an interview with Mr.Hines. (My favorite part is when the frat boy interviewer asks is you can "finish" in her mouth.) The second is a demonstration at AEE and is explicit. (My favorite part in this one is when Mr.Hines tries to finger Roxxxy and she tells him not to! Classic!) ENJOY!

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Monday, January 11, 2010

What people are really using the internet for...

So I am beat today! Don't feel like writing a blog, seeing as I have already been sitting at a computer all day, but here is a fun fact sheet I stumbled across today about everyone's favorite use for the internet...PORN! Let me know what you think people! Do the facts check out? Is the internet where you get your extra sauce?
The Numbers Behind Pornography
Source: Online Education

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Everyone wants a little extra sauce...

Welcome to Gettin' Saucy With Sasha a blog for sex and relationship advice from vanilla to chocolate and everything in between. In my blog I hope to help people live happier lives by becoming more open and honest about their sexuality, no matter what the preference! I want this to be a safe space where people can ask me questions and we can work together to find solutions! I will try to post a blog everyday on some new tip or theory that I have learned about human sexuality. Everything is open for discussion, nothing is too taboo! Let's just try to keep it as honest and respectful as possible and remember not to take ourselves or our sexuality to seriously!

What makes me qualified to dish out the advice for this blog? Well, here is a little about my credentials. I've been working towards open communication about sexuality since I was a freshman in high school, when I worked for an organization called S.A.F.E. (Stopping Aids First through Education). Since them I have been researching and experimenting with different aspects of human relationships and sexuality. I studied for 3 years at San Francisco State University in their Human Sexuality Psychology Department and was even able to Assistant Teach 2 courses for 2 years, Sex and Relationships and Variations in Human Sexuality. After my education I spent 3 years in Hawaii where I had my own radio show also called Gettin Saucy With Sasha. As well as my professional interest in sex and relationships, I have a rich personal history when it comes to this, my favorite topic. I would give you more details but a lady never gives it all away at once ;)

So read along and feel free to pour any comments and questions you may have all over me. After all, everyone wants a little extra sauce...