Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!.........aw........damn

Just got this letter from a Sauce Lover and I thought it would be important to address considering it's about one of the number one concerns for men in the bedroom. For women it can be flattering or frustrating, but it can be fixed! Let's here it for premature ejaculation!

Hi Sasha, love this group!

I have a question about premature ejaculation. My boyfriend suffers from this (he is not happy with how long he lasts, it isn't so much an issue for me) and this has always been a problem with him. He isn't even enjoying sex anymore because he is so worried about cumming too soon.

I was wondering if you had any advice/techniques we could try? We use condoms (to decrease sensation, and of course for safety :P), he masturbates beforehand often, and even would rather drink before we have sex because he says it makes him last longer.

Anything else?

Thanks

Dear Sauce Lover,

Premature ejaculation is on the the top concerns of men when it comes to bedroom activities and I have heard of some of pretty interesting things guys have done to keep themselves in check. I even knew one guy who hung a picture of a penguin upside down over his bed so if he ever got too excited, he could look at it and think, "Why the hell is the penguin upside down?" Some men count, some think of baseball or Bea Arthur, or even dead puppies (ew). However, some times those strange mental images just aren't enough (it's cause I'm just too hot, I know, it's a curse) and we need to seek alternative solutions. It sounds like you are already pretty well informed and what you are trying now are some good ideas, but if he is still not satisfied with his performance I have some other suggestions for you.

One thing he might want to look into purchasing a desensitizing lube. I would recommend Durex Play Longer Desensitizing Lubricant for Men. The thing about these lubes is that they contain a mild anesthetic (usually 7.5 percent benzocaine) that causes a temporary numbing sensation after being applied to the skin. The purpose of this desensitization is to help men to keep their erections and to postpone or prevent premature ejaculation. However, since the penis has less sensation, sexual pleasure for some men could be reduced and if too much is used they could just go entirely numb. Plus, if a condom is not worn when using these products, the gel or cream can rub off onto your naughty bits diminishing sensation and pleasure for you. Which nobody wants! Another option which can prove less messy it the desensitizing condom. Look for Trojan Extended Pleasure brand condoms that just won an consumer award for best desensitizing condom. They have the standard amount of anesthetic already inside the condom so their is no fear of using too much. But just like a unique and beautiful snowflake, every penis if different. So some men may require more or less desensitization than the condom can offer.

If you are looking for a more natural way to get his ejaculation under control, he needs to change his masturbation habits. Most people when they masturbate are of the mind frame to get in, get off, and get out. This speedy practice in men is often the main cause of premature ejaculation. When he is flying solo, ask him to try to take it slow. He can help himself do this by switching hands or positions. If he normally stands up in the shower to rub one out, have him try laying down on his back or stomach, or have him sit down in comfy chair. (Also when you are having sex try NOT to do it in the same position that he typically masturbates, this will better distinguish sex with you as a different experience.)

He needs to switch things up like this because of muscle memory. The muscles in the human body have a memory of their own, so when they experience certain actions or sensations, they will take over to produce the typical result (in this case a quick spurt). In order to change his ejaculation patterns he will actually have to change the muscle memory in his penis. Sounds painful, but I promise it's not, it can be fun! :) He needs to re-teach his naughty muscles that sexual stimulation needs to be prolonged in order to reach his climax. In order to re-program he is going to need to work at it. Remember, practice makes perfect! So he should frequently try to extend the length of his masturbation sessions by bringing himself to the point of almost cumming and having him slow down, or stop entirely. The longer he will be able to go by himself, the longer he will be able to go with you.

If you want you could make it a fun practicing by teasing him yourself either manually or orally, but always making sure to stop and take breaks to let him cool down and extend the experience. Another technique that I have used to rein in an overly excited partner may be a little far out for some, but it is very effective. S&M can do wonders in the bedroom not just as fun play but a tool to help keep you man in control. When pleasuring a man I often will bring him right to the point of release and then firmly, but lightly, slap the inside of his thigh or the meaty part of his bum. It sort of wakes them up and doesn't let them get off that easy (I <3 double entendres). You can also do the same thing with ice cubes, or hot wax. Just bringing a new and distracting sensation to the table can mix things up in his brain to confuse and excite (but not too much) his little man (or big man if the case may be). In some cases however if the guy you are with is really into S&M, this can backfire and cause him to erupt like a volcano, but if your new to the experiences it can be very exciting, but grounding. Now if this is something you would like to try, talk to your man about it first. He might freak out if you just spring it on him. Not everyone is cut of for these more rough and tumble activities.

I hope I was able to help you guys out and you will try some of my suggestions. If you like please do keep me updated to let me know what worked for you and what didn't or if you find some new tantalizing trick this I may not have even heard of. Sex is about fun, play and experimentation. So never stop trying to things! And remember to always keep it safe and saucy!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The G-Spot: Myth or Magnificent?

Hello Sauce Lovers! I am so excited because I received my first email with a question from one of you, my glorious minion! And it is about that tried and true sex mystery....the G-Spot! Here is what my Sauce Lover wants to know....

Hi,Sasha! My question is banal ....but still can't get a clear answer.Whats exact location of G-spot?....was trying to find that information in literature,but whether the explanation is too complicated or there's just a little bit about location and more about someones feelings of it.Looks like no one knows where it is,but exactly knows what it does to a girl. I can't ask my friends neither,coz some of them enjoying just "jumping on a dick" and as a consequence not really interested about the spot,another part is still seeking.......I thought maybe you could help me....as i understood you majored in sexology...maybe u might know...

Dear Sauce Lover,

In no way is your question banal. The G-Spot is one of the great modern mysteries of female sexuality! Here is a little info on the G-Spot that I have come across in my sexplorations.

Now there is still some debate about whether or not the G-Spot exists. These arguments mostly come from male scientists who probably couldn't find their own dick. In my experience the G-Spot is very real, just a little bit fickle. The thing about the G-Spot is this: Just like every unique and beautiful snowflake, every vagina is different. Therefore every G-Spot is different. For some women it is very sensitive and can even get them to squirt like a fountain! (Wait for my future blog on female ejaculation.) For other women, it gives off no extra stimulation at all. No one really knows why this is, it could be genetic or just random. Either way, think of your G-Spot like your own unique, sexy fingerprint.

Now the location of the G-Spot can vary in women, but it is usually in the same general region. In order to find the G-Spot take your longest finger, (or use someone else finger! ) and let it inside about two knuckles deep. You can now feel the G-Spot on the top of your vaginal canal. It should feel spongy and slightly different than the rest of your love tunnel. If your not sure that you found it, feel around a bit and explore! Yours could be in a lower or higher location. When you do locate your spot, don't expect when you touch it for it to feel like fireworks.The G-Spot doesn't have nearly as many nerves as the clitoris and doesn't respond to touch the same way. Remember the clit has about 8000 nerve endings and you can't really beat that. The G-Spot responds best to pressure and friction, rather than simple touch.

Now my G-Spot has never been very sensitive but I have been able to get it going on occasion, mostly with manual stimulation, G-Spot specific sex toys, or guys who just happened to be curved in a favorable way. (You know who you are) ;) Even though G-Spot stimulation can be very pleasurable and intense, I have always needed a bit of rub on the clit as well, to reach orgasm. Most woman can only reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation so don't be afraid to make your partner pay appropriate attention to the magic button. ( I may call it that but please people, please don't ever press it like a button!) Clitoral stimulation combined with G-Spot stimulation has added up to the most intense orgasms of my life. So I encourage all you ladies to explore your nether regions for the added boost G-Spot stimulation can give you.

If you are concerned about the lack of sensitivity in your G-Spot, they have procedures now involving collagen injections that are supposed to plump it up and increase sensitivity. Some women claim they are magical, others claim they do nothing at all, but either way they aren't cheap at about 2 grand per injection. My recommendation is to get a good toy. For G-Spot stimulation I recommend something firm, like a glass dildo. Something like this has been really good times for me!


http://www.justaddflesh.com/pgs/products/Sire-Pyrex-Glass-Dildo.html

Now I know it is a bit scary looking but don't be intimidated! If vibrators are more your style try something like this.



http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/rock-chick

Vibration never really helped out my G-Spot, but for some it might, you never know till you try! Just find something that looks appealing to you and experiment! Remember, sex is supposed to be fun!

Thanks for your question reader! I hope I was able to help shed a little light on the G-Spot. I also hope that you have inspired some of the other Sauce Lovers out there to send me their questions! You can post your questions here on the site or send them to me at my email.

gettinsaucywithsasha@gmail.com (wouldn't it be awesome if it was @gspot.com?) ;P

Until next time, keep it safe and keep it saucy!